billanastas.com

lately (today especially for some reason) i keep having these flashbacks of the most embarrassing shit i’ve ever done. here’s the first of what I can’t wait to be a whole series of embarrassing shit the whole internet can laugh at me about:

the setting: 6th grade english class

we had a homework assignment to write a descriptive paragraph. i think the only requirement was that it had to start with a predetermined sentence. It was something like “It was a chilly autumn day…” I was pretty excited about what I wrote because I took the serious sentence and tried to make it funny from there. I of course volunteered to read my “descriptive paragraph” in front of the class first because I thought it would get a few laughs. I don’t recall exactly what I wrote/said, but I think it involved Steve Urkel playing football on a chilly autumn day or something of the like (it was the early 90s, give me a break). I got about two original sentences into the paragraph when the teacher (sorry guy, used to remember your name, but have since forgotten) got PISSED! I immediately realized that I had misinterpreted the breadth of my creative freedom on this one as he proceeded to chew me out in front of the class. When retelling stories for some reason I often embellish the dialogue with much more profanity than was originally present (is there a term for this? there should be). I don’t imagine the english teacher said “if you want to right pointless bullshit like that you do it on your own time - I won’t let you make a mockery of me or this class” I was prepping a response in my head that would have been a “sorry for the misunderstanding” type of message, but it was clear that this guy would have had none of it..